It happened once again

I get into these downward spiral thinking patterns, questioning the meaning of life, why we are here and what difference am I really making? This isn't always a good thing because I find that I take action when I come to conclusions.  In this case I wasn't sure what I was doing made any sort of difference so I decided to end it.  I took 5 or 6 bottles of pills and said my goodbyes. Kinda not really I actually wanted to just go silently. As you can see the attempt failed and I'm still not sure that is a good thing. I have had a unique life, one with joy, pain, sadness, love, and a whirlwind of every emotion.  I found every day to be a constant struggle.  It still is, but I am here.  I am here, I am exhausted and I probably sound quite ingrateful and I probable am.  So here is to yet again another go at the game we all play, Life...