Thursday, April 14, 2011

unattainable peace of mind

Life gives me opportunity disguised as troubles I hope to overcome.  One in particular is overwhelming, has been for months, I keep trying to move on from it, to conquer it.  I keep changing my approach, hoping to see a different angle but, it all seems to be in vain. 
What gets me through my days? 
I am not sure, painting a world that I hope to exist,
running constantly not sure if I am running to something
or away from something but running none the less.
I feel like I am trying to crack a code that only I seem to lack the combination to.
Guessing, pondering, contemplating and running into dead ends before I even begin. 
The problem won't leave
even if I give up on it, there it is.
Haunting, teasing, watching my attempts for success knowing its just out of reach.
I feel like I am stuck in that Greek myth, the one where the man is in a river of water and when he lowers to drink the water falls and he is unable to quench his thirst.  It is right there, he can see it but it is out of his reach, just close enough to desire it  over all else, to keep his thirst at the front of his mind.  It toys with him, he knows he won't be able to drink but, he can't help but try... He'll never have that drink only the hope of it, and unfortunately it isn't enough.

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