“It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive."

Pettiness.  Take away your pride, strip yourself of your ego, see your life and those in it for what they are.  The most important aspects of your world and life.  What things get in the way of your relationships?  They offended you perhaps, said something to humiliate you, they hurt your feelings by not reacting in a manner you hoped, hell even if they did what you assumed to be unforgivable.... How big of a deal was it really?  Really?

You may have justified it in many ways, your were right, they need to learn a lesson, you warned them you would abandon them if they didn't comply, all in all you trick yourself into believing you had every right.  You didn't.  You never did.  Why?  Because we all do it to each other, not on purpose usually but, you are NOT exempt.  So what do I suggest?  Drop it. Forgive. Get over it.  Stop your self loathing, self-pitying, the exploiting of their mistakes to make you look better and them look worse.  Get over yourself and love.  It is making your life worse and only you can save yourself from yourself.  My suggestion do it.