Who will I Be?

I have pondered the question "What do I want to be when I grow up?" for the better part of my adult life.  It has consumed me, the vast possibilities. How to choose the one? Which would I be best at? Which will bring me the most success? Part of what made this a monumental task for me, was the fact that I was also attaching it to my character, my being. "What will I do?"  That's what I meant by "What will I be when I grow up?" I had put my self-worth in that question.  Realizing the difference, I now find that very separate from "Who will I be? "

The relief I found was I will be me always. The qualities I posses, my abilities, my character, ME, will ultimately stay ME no matter what I do. Then the relevance of what I will do seemed far less intimidating as who will I be. Who am I?  What qualities have I developed? How do I display me?  Are my actions an accurate portrayal of the person I am?  Who do I hope to become?  I wrote a list of the qualities I have and hope to obtain.  Then I looked them all up and wrote down their definitions.  It only made sense to me to know what I am and what I want to be to become "her".  I am pleased with my progress thus far and look forward to the woman I can become.  Leaving my character up to chance seemed reckless so, I have taken action, I am now mindful in everything I do and say and make sure it resignates with me.  That it is the proper representation of my being and aspirations.

In doing this I hope for a more accurate focus and perspective.  I hope for more joy during the journey we call life. Mastering who I am doesn't so much help with the "what will I do?" but it does aid with the approach.  I know how I will choose to act, in every aspect of my life.  My way of life, philosophies of my relationships and interactions with people are very clear, its as though I am living life on purpose.  People are not in my life by mistake, they are there because I want them there, I do not leave things unsaid, there is reason.  I am who I am on purpose.  Purpose gives love, friends, family, life meaning, importance and value.  Don't let your life happen accidentally, give yourself a reason to live.  Deepen your existence, master your emotions, live to enjoy life in it's moments.  That is all we have.